Recently I had a client (who happens to be a therapist) come in and said she was doing too much this summer, and realized she was overfunctioning. And phew, that word really rang true.
As hairstylists, how many of us can relate to overfunctioning?
According to MyWellBeing, overfunctioning is a behavioral pattern where you consistently take on too much responsibility: doing tasks, fixing problems, or managing emotions for other people instead of letting them handle things on their own.
I started thinking about the demands of our job. First, all the multitasking we do, and that alone is a lot. Then add in playing the role of therapist while we’re creating art, all while standing on our feet for hours.
Some ways we overfunction:
Carrying the emotional weight of others. Absorbing our clients’ trauma, stories, and emotions throughout the day.
Fixing or solving. Feeling like you need to “help” others by giving advice.
People pleasing. Squeezing in clients, having a hard time setting boundaries, skipping lunch, saying yes out of fear of disappointing someone.
Feeling responsible for others. Feeling like you need to make clients happy, filling any silences, not being able to sit with a client’s discomfort.
Unable to set boundaries. Not taking a lunch, squeezing clients in, not able to say no.
And none of these things have to do with our actual jobs. Nothing to do with actually doing someone’s hair. These are the unspoken roles of our jobs, the “hairapist” role that no one trained us in.
So how do we know if we’re in overfunctioning mode? Here are some signs:
Resentment. If you’re starting to feel anger or bitterness creeping in, it’s a sign you might need a boundary and to take care of your own needs.
Feeling stretched thin. If someone asks something of you and you feel like you can’t say no, but you have no energy or capacity to do it. When you don’t have any time for yourself or to meet your own needs.
Dreading going into work. If it feels overwhelming to go to work, or you get the ick on your day off just thinking about going back, then you are certainly overfunctioning and need a break.
None of this means you have to quit or stop caring about your clients. It just means you need to stop and take stock of where you’re at. Ask yourself: where am I giving too much? What is it that I need? And how can I meet my own needs?
Having awareness around overfunctioning can help prevent burnout.
If you’re a beauty professional, I want to know, did this resonate? Do you feel like you overfunction at times?
And if you’re not a beauty professional, pass this on, because I bet you know a hairstylist who might need this.
"Absorbing our clients' trauma, stories, and emotions throughout the day" is the part nobody puts on the rate card. On wedding mornings I watch artists hold the whole family's nerves before 8 a.m. The first boundary I'd teach a new stylist: lunch isn't optional, and neither is putting the emotional load down when you hang up the apron.